Arrivals and Departures

Flying has now become a terminal condition

Does it have something to do with Saturn becoming more saturnine, or kalam more calamitous? Blaming an Icelandic eruption would be too far-fetched, or simply too far, so instead of the volcano, should we blame El Nico? Is it the negative energy released by 'honor' killings and dishonorable top-cops? There has to be some reason not visible to the naked eye, or even to the fully addressed mind, that accounts for the serial aviation accidents, actual or averted, that have shaken us in the past fortnight.

The fiery end of AI express flight 812 on May 22, the worst ever Boeing 737-800 crash in terms of fatalities, was an unmitigated, unnerving, unconscionable tragedy, but the horror stories which have been streaming out of the skies ever since seem more like farce. Perhaps we should be thankful. For, if those near accidents had come any closer to their grim potential, we would have little to laugh about these either.

Just three days after Mangalore, the travel plans of the presidents of India and Turkmenistan managed to divert as many as 11 Delhi-bound flights. But why you are complaining it? You are getting a free ride to Chandigarh/Lucknow/Jaipur, no? And extra egg bhurji in addition to scrambled appointments too. Expectedly, the Rajasthatn expedition had the most adventure courtesy gusty winds, dust storms and no approach radar at Sanganer airport. When the jet Lite, kingfisher and jet Airways flights finally kissed the ground, they had only three, 10 and 13 minutes of flying time left in their respective fuel tanks. This kind of mathematical neatness may hold up the universe, but it could also have brought it crashing down for their 524 passengers.

In the past week, more bungles tumbled out of real life headlines than anything that could be thought up by a script writer of film drama or black comedy. A tire burst forced a Srinagar bound spice jet to return to Delhi and land with full emergency regalia. Air India had to perform a nail biting 'go around' at Patna airport. An AI express Dubai-Pune flight with 112 passengers rapidly descended several thousand feet above Muscat in a loonatic fashion - the pilot had gone to the toilet, the autopilot got disengaged, and the copilot couldn't control the plane. Then in Mumbai, an IndiGo Airbus 320 blithely entered a runway on which a jet airways boeing was cleared to land, and was already just about 1.8 km from touchdown. An alert ATC saved the day and 230 passengers calling out to the jet pilot to abort the flight, and  the two planes swished past each other.

Yes, Holy/ Bolly/ Tolly/ Molly-wood has been overtaken by folly-wood. Drama (and slapstick) in real life is now showing t an airport near you. And smashing the box-office and passenger confidence. \the descent is scary, dark and deep, and we have air miles to go before we sleep in peace.

Yet all this third world muddling is happening against the background of our swishy new terminals, the most visible proof of India's globalization  Sharad Pawar's disparaging of the earlier Mumbai airport as 'worse than a bus station' is a forgotten nightmare now that these spaces re as different from their socialist avatar as Mr Pateel is from Mr Pawar. Every arrival or departure revels a whole new extension or at least yet another, even more exclusive international brand outlet manned by women as sleek as cabin crew, and made up like the kitchen crew of saas-bahu serials. The runway too is getting the hi-tech treatment, but in the light of the recent adventures of our planes, perhaps it should be called a 'runway' instead.