Heavenly Atmosphere from the Family

Meaning: According the line of Athervaved 7/36/1 — let us husband and wife, look at each other with the gaze of love, always speak sweet words and reside in each other's heart. Let us be two bodies but with one mind only.

Message: What is the aim and ideal of marriage? Right from the beginning of civilization, why is this institution of marriage still continuing? If satisfying only the sexual desire is the reason for marriage, then this deal is very costly and troublesome. In this deal both sides seem to be heavy losers. Like the oil-miller's bullock tied to the grinder's beam and moving round and round throughout 8 to 10 hours, man also is crushed under the drudgery of earning for the family and the woman ruins not only her health and personality but also her life in the vicious circle of producing children. The aim of marriage is never like this. If that was the aim, the organization of the human society would have been completely destroyed and had been at a level lower than that of animals.

Marriage is a spiritual endeavor. This is a union of love which is nourished on the high ideals of self-denial and generosity. This is for men of goodwill and men who are brave. For a happy home-life, the life of the would-be groom and the bride-to-be should be of a high level, and both should be persons with quality and virtue. The groom should know the Vedas, properly educated, cultured and tolerant. The bride-to-be should be pure and impressive. With internal cleanliness of the body, the mind and intellect become pure. If the mind is clean, then the intellect and the mental tendencies too would be pure. With the body's inner and outer cleanliness comes the purity of conduct, good qualities develop and the light of knowledge and determination spreads around. The test of man's life is based on knowledge and character. Bright men and learned women, proven true on the above test, can achieve spiritual progress by joining in marriage and by living a 'yagyiya-life'. If the bond of marriage is making on the basis of capacity, learning and worthiness, then the life of husband and wife becomes happy.

The situation in the present times is indeed very strange. Maximum importance is given to pomp and wealth, but inner beauty (i.e. virtues) and personality in the form of qualities are ignored. As a result generally dissatisfaction and distrust are seen. In the absence of real sympathy, warmth and unity, despite living together, they live like lifeless strangers. They remain deprived of the inner joy and enthusiasm of the happiness, naturalness and tolerance of married life. A woman attuned to modality turns the peace of home into restlessness.

Husband and wife are complementary to each other. The objective of a successful family-life will be achieved if both consider each other venerable and work diligently for the success of marriage with mutual faithfulness, closeness, service, honor, cooperation, goodwill and generosity. For this holy objective, the husband and wife must be completely loyal to each other, and not think of any other woman or man.

By doing this, a heavenly atmosphere will be created in the family.

Heavenly Atmosphere from the Family

Meaning: According the line of Athervaved 7/36/1 — let us husband and wife, look at each other with the gaze of love, always speak sweet words and reside in each other's heart. Let us be two bodies but with one mind only.

Message: What is the aim and ideal of marriage? Right from the beginning of civilization, why is this institution of marriage still continuing? If satisfying only the sexual desire is the reason for marriage, then this deal is very costly and troublesome. In this deal both sides seem to be heavy losers. Like the oil-miller's bullock tied to the grinder's beam and moving round and round throughout 8 to 10 hours, man also is crushed under the drudgery of earning for the family and the woman ruins not only her health and personality but also her life in the vicious circle of producing children. The aim of marriage is never like this. If that was the aim, the organization of the human society would have been completely destroyed and had been at a level lower than that of animals.

Marriage is a spiritual endeavor. This is a union of love which is nourished on the high ideals of self-denial and generosity. This is for men of goodwill and men who are brave. For a happy home-life, the life of the would-be groom and the bride-to-be should be of a high level, and both should be persons with quality and virtue. The groom should know the Vedas, properly educated, cultured and tolerant. The bride-to-be should be pure and impressive. With internal cleanliness of the body, the mind and intellect become pure. If the mind is clean, then the intellect and the mental tendencies too would be pure. With the body's inner and outer cleanliness comes the purity of conduct, good qualities develop and the light of knowledge and determination spreads around. The test of man's life is based on knowledge and character. Bright men and learned women, proven true on the above test, can achieve spiritual progress by joining in marriage and by living a 'yagyiya-life'. If the bond of marriage is making on the basis of capacity, learning and worthiness, then the life of husband and wife becomes happy.

The situation in the present times is indeed very strange. Maximum importance is given to pomp and wealth, but inner beauty (i.e. virtues) and personality in the form of qualities are ignored. As a result generally dissatisfaction and distrust are seen. In the absence of real sympathy, warmth and unity, despite living together, they live like lifeless strangers. They remain deprived of the inner joy and enthusiasm of the happiness, naturalness and tolerance of married life. A woman attuned to modality turns the peace of home into restlessness.

Husband and wife are complementary to each other. The objective of a successful family-life will be achieved if both consider each other venerable and work diligently for the success of marriage with mutual faithfulness, closeness, service, honor, cooperation, goodwill and generosity. For this holy objective, the husband and wife must be completely loyal to each other, and not think of any other woman or man.

By doing this, a heavenly atmosphere will be created in the family.

Ideal Family

Meaning: According the line of Athervaved 3/30/2 — in an ideal home, children are obedient to their parents. The parents are well-wishers of their children. The husband and wife's mutual relationship is sweet and happy. Only such families always thrive and are happy.

Message: On the basis of the Vedas, the rishis (sages) have divided the human-life into 4 'ashrams'. The four ashrams are - brahmacharya ashram, gruhastha ashram, vanprastha ashram, and sanyas ashram. Considering a life-spam of a hundred years, these ashrams have been specified. Only in the Vedic religion, these ashrams of 25 years each have been categorized and this is the specialty of the Vedic streams of thought. The word brahmacharya is made of two words i.e. 'Brahma' or God and 'aacharan' means conduct. Thus it implies the conduct as followed by God. The second meaning of brahmacharya is celibacy. Thus the combination of two meanings implies the attainment of physical, mental intellectual and spiritual strengths, through celibate living up to attainment of 25 year for a successful material and spiritual life. During gruhastha ashram which means the life of a householder, the above powers are used and the man employs his earnings in deeds connected to a householder's duties and to fulfill to his wife's and children's needs. Then he reinforces his powers in the 3rd phase i.e. vanaprastha ashram through 'brahmacharya' (i.e. celibacy), self-study, japa (i.e. recitations) and tapa (or(austerities). In the sanyas-ashram he distributes to the society his acquired knowledge, wisdom and experience. This organization of a man's life into four ashrams is a very great specialty of Vedic religion.

If brahmacharya ashram is the foundation of life, then gruhastha ashram is a beautiful building constructed on it. Gruhastha ashram has its own importance, usefulness and achievements. In gruhastha ashram, the sentiment of self denial gets strengthened. The family members with love and cooperation for each other are eager to bear hardships for the sake of other members of the family. And in what words to describe the great sacrifice of a woman? She is the very incarnation of self denial. As wife, sister, and daughter or as mother her self denial contributes to the divine joy in the family. A restrained life contributes to excellent health. The householder making a living through pure means maintains sweet relationship with his relatives, associates to get the facilities for making his life happy, peaceful prosperous, and so also the society.

A family is made up of more than one person living together. Thus besides the husband and wife, there are; son, daughter, brother, sister, mother, father, aunt, uncle, grand-father, grand-mother, father-in-law, mother-in-law etc. The sweetness and purity of relationships between them creates an atmosphere of a special cheerfulness, happiness, joy and lively bustle. If there is a closeness of love and trust between the husband and wife, then the feelings of love, affection, faith and service for each other will be created. All will think of the interest of each other and will do beneficial work, and the situation of giving importance to money above everyone else, including family members, will not arise. With a sense of belonging, generosity and cooperation, all will serve each other and there will be joy and happiness in the family.

Only love and friendliness are the foundation of an ideal family.

Identity of a Man with Character

Meaning: As expressed in the line of Rigved 10/117/8 — "In this world all are not equal in status. All are in ascending order, someone wealthier than the other, someone more learned than the other, and so on. To compare one's own self with someone with more capacity is always painful, therefore whatever we have received should be considered as a favor from God and we should go on ddoing our duty."
Message: 'Gyanmay karma evam karmamay gyan' is a proclaimed truth of Nepalese philosophy which means our deeds should be backed with knowledge and our knowledge should be in action i.e. there is a need for harmony in knowledge and deeds. The goal of all our scriptures and learning is only this that the light of the ultimate knowledge within our hearts should continuously brighten up our path of life.
All are not alike in this world. Not only the birds, animals and insects, but even men differ in their worth and capacities. Each man in not capable of carrying out every task, nor is he capable of every attainment. Mostly men themselves run away from work and keep on carrying for not obtaining various achievements. Most men in this world are unhappy 'why should others be happy'? They themselves do nothing and expect that they should get all the happiness, comforts, money wealth and achievements in the martial world. Such ignorant people who keep building castles in the air create a hell like life for themselves and simultaneously create an anarchic atmosphere in the society. Such distorted thinking only blunts their knowledge. Only their difficulties are visible to them and they always keep on crying. They neither have the time nor the knowledge to understand the sorrow of the millions of people living in want.
When the proper knowledge of the reality enlightens the mind, then accordingly, man decides the actions to be taken. For this harmony, he requires constant practice. To cultivate this habit is at first difficult, even impossible, but gradually by practive it is achieved. The Hindi saying is, 'karat karat abhyaas ke jdmut hote sujaan' i.e. by constant practice even dull persons become knowledgeable. A person, who does not know swimming, becomes mortally afraid when taken into the water, but within the next few days he is able to swim like fish. Similarly, by constant practice the entire life can be made full of knowledge.
A knowledgeable person has a quiet and balanced attitude. He considers all his achievements as a favor from God and remains satisfied. He does not have any emotion of jealousy or malice. He does not have ill-feelings on seeing others' happiness, comforts and progress. Never does he cry or get irritated or angry. He knows the sanctity of deeds and with a broad outlook keeps a compassionate attitude for all animals. With the attitude that all animals possess a soul just like his own, he is not satisfied merely with personal progress, but understands that in the progress of all lies his own progress.
This is the identity of a man with character.

Ekpaadrbhooyo dwipado vi chakrame
dwipaatripaadamabhyeti pashchaat.
chatushpaadeti dwipadaambhisware,
sampashyanpaktirupatishthamaanah .. (Rigved 10/117/8)

Keeping Good Company

As we go through the biographies of great souls, we find that whenever the supremely benevolent have incarnated on earth, slanderers have left no stone unturned in maligning them.

The intellect becomes mean with the association of slanderers but remains stable in the association of equals and become superior with the association of those who are superior to us. You reap fruits according to the kind of company you keep. Therefore you should always be careful in selecting the company you keep.

Long ago, there lived a man named Chajju Bhakta in Lahore. One day he was down the lane shouted, "Acche san…..tare, acche san… tare… (Buy good oranges)". Chajju Bhakta asked his companions. "Do you hear what that man is saying?" They said: "He is selling santaras (oranges) Bhaktaji"!

Bhaktaji said, "You did not understand. Listen carefully, he is saying. "Acche sang…tare (good company redeems)". He is saying that those who associate themselves with good people are redeemed, while those who fall into bad company meet with destruction."

Bhaktaji told a story to illustrate this: A crow and swan had become friends. One day the crow took the swan to its house and made him sit on   dry and wilted Babool tree. Two places stank of dung, flesh and bones that were scattered all around.

The swan said, "Brother! I cannot stay in such a dirty place, even for a moment. If you know of any pious place, you take me there."

The crow then took him to the secret grooved of the king and made him sit on the tree, and then sat near him. Beneath the tree he was resting. As the swan looked down, he saw the king sitting under the tree with his head exposed to the sun.

A swan is kind by nature, and out of compassion it spread out its wings to provide shade to the king who felt some relief from the sun.

A crow, however, is uncaring by nature. So it dropped its excreta on the king's head. The king shot an arrow upwards which brought the swan does, while the crow flew! I am not the crow that dropped the excreta. I am the swan that lives in pure water, but due to the company of the mean crow, my life has been ruined."

In the Sundara Kandam, section 45.4 of the Sri Ramacharitamanasa, Ram says to Vibhishana, "may providence keep us from the company of the wicked! It would be better; O respected one, to live in hell." (Because the company of the evil leads to the cycle of birth and death and repeated relegation to hells.)

Evil company destroys good virtues and is feared by those who recognize this truth. All scriptures and great souls have taught the jiva with great emphasis on the importance of staying clear of bad company. Bad company leads one to degeneration very quickly.

For example, one has to make great efforts to climb a tree, but there is no effort required in falling down. Similarly, one has to make great effort to attain spiritual power and earn the wealth of sadhana; but all our efforts carried out for over a long period of time will come to naught in a moment by keeping the company slanderers.

Live With Effortless Grace

It was 9:30 in the morning. From my balcony on the eighth floor, I could see below a stream of shining cars crawling on the roads. The traffic seemed chaotic, vehicles trying to get past the other, so much like situations we face in our chaotic lives, driven by competition.

A peaceful life is essentially a simple one and hence effortless. The sheer simplicity of peaceful life is a magnet that attracts, for deep within we identify with it. To be simple is not something external; we have to become simple and natural from within, be open to our own 'internal self' and perform actions knowing where they are leading to. One has to consciously bring bout this change, as Paramhansa Swami Niranjananda Saraswati of the Bihar School of yoga, Munger says, "To change externally is just a cosmetic change, it is feeding the intellect, the real change is internal". Being open to our internal selves connects us to the fantastic inner world wherein in each one of us a 'sage' dwells. Once connected to this sage our decisions are taken from deep within and we no longer need approval of others. We stand tall and empowered, yet simple, natural and in harmony with self and others.

However, being t peace does not guarantee freedom. We all have responsibilities that bind us in many ways, creating a web around us in which we feel enmeshed. So how do we experience freedom? Though it may seem contradictory on the face of it but one who is disciplined is the one who experiences real freedom. Freedom, like peace, is an internal concept; we can experience freedom only when we feel freedom within us. A disciplined man is able to organize his life and take care of his responsibilities with aplomb, and thus he is set free. A disciplined man is able to achieve balance in life.

By virtue of our existence we live in a world of relationships with others. The only constant in life is change and that is true of relationships as well. Only relationship that does not change with time is the one between mother and child, where normally affection is unconditional. If we honestly view our relationships we will find that we are constantly 'performing' with others. We unleash words and thoughts often couched in terms of 'love' while the intent to have control over others. The moment we are able to stop performing, relationship grow within, infuse discipline in our lives and stop enacting dramas in our relationships we are at peace and free. Once at peace and free, happiness happens. Life becomes an expression of divine calmness and flows with effortless grace. One becomes a 'farmer' instead of a 'warrior'. As paramhansa Swami Niranjananda Saraswati says, "in life becomes a farmer instead of a warrior: Learn to nurture and take care and begin the process with yourself with your personality and mind. The victory of a warrior is accompanied by destruction while the victory of a farmer is accompanied by creations".

Sindhu in might surpasses all the rivers that flow… The roar of the river is lifted up to heaven above the earth; it puts forth endless vigor with a flash of light …. Even as cows with milk rush to their calves, so other rivers roar into the Sindhu. As a warrior king leads other warriors, so does Sindhu lead other rivers …….

The shrill note of a motorcar's horn from the street below brought me back from my reverie. I saw a 'warrior' in a huge shining red car weaving his way aggressively through the traffic before I turned and went inside the apartment.

Wave and the Ocean

God or what we perceive as the supreme energy is never an object of isolation but the very core of your being. The difference between self and God is just like the wave and the ocean.

If you think you are just the body – don’t for the body has its limitations. If you think that you are the mind – don’t for the mind, too, has its limitations. It is just another layer of our existence.

Just like your body is made up of proteins, amino acids, and carbohydrates, you are made up of love. Every little atom of your body is made up of love and that is what is God and not someone sitting somewhere in heaven. God is here and now; He is love, and space. When you are meditating feel at peace, at home with everyone, you are in touch with the Divine force. In the Upanishads, it is said ‘kham kham brahma’ – space is Brahman, in which everything is and into which everything dissolves. It is universal consciousness.

God is omnipresent, omnipotent and omniscient; therefore wanting to see God as something or someone separate from you is also an illusion. God is not an object of senses but the feeling the presence, the sound of silence the light of life and the essence of the world and the taste of bliss.

God is to be felt in the depth of your heart; He cannot be perceived through your senses or through the mind for He is the Seer. As space He is everywhere, and everything is in space. Nothing can tough space. Nothing can destroy space. And you cannot see space as a separated object.

There are three types of space, bhuta aakash or outer space space in which the universe exists, chitta aakash or the world of impressions, thoughts and dreams that exist in your mind; chida aakash or the sky of consciousness that is all permeating every consciousness – everywhere – consciousness, the basis of all Creation, that is Divine that which knows all.

The whole of existence has a mind of its own. This mind is what you call Atma or God and that is what you are. As Generator; Operator and Destroyer; as Brahma, Vishnu and Maheshwara. God has generated the present moment; the present moment is operating and the present moment destroyed the past. So you are in God and Divinity is in you. There is a place for everybody in the heart of the Divine.

Divinity is the very core of your being. Like an onion, if you start peeling the layers one by one, when you reach the centre there is nothingness and everything is made up of that space. Universal consciousness is present everywhere. That being, that space, that very consciousness is what people look up to because it is present everywhere at all times.

In the body there are many cells and each of them has its own life. New cells are coming up and old cells are dying but they have no knowledge of you. Yet they are affected by you and you are affected by a single cell. In the same way, know that the big life and the big mind which encompasses all our minds and all our lives, is what we call as God.